This Is My Story
by FluffyWhitePandas
Summary: The promise is broken between the two. Arthur is the kid with darker secrets than what normal people expect. Alfred is the jock with everything anyone would want. No one knows but them, that they were once friends. A story about how people today like to judge and how an old friendship repairs itself. Additional information (needed) inside. Happy ending promised.
1. Chapter 1

**Additional Information!**

**1) Not the typical story.**

**2) Orphan!Arthur...**

**3) Things will be explained later on**

**4) Alfred's not gonna be forgiven anytime soon**

**I only own this plot and nothing else.**

**Edited in June 2013 :3**

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_A lot of people don't realize that depression is an illness. I don't wish it on anyone, but if they would know how it feels, I swear they would think twice before they just shrug it. –Jonathan Davis_

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"_You'll never treat me differently or hurt me or call me a loser or forget about me right? Please promise me you won't. Alfred?"_

"_I promise."_

* * *

"_Alfred let's go make fun of that kid over there with those hideous eyebrows."_

"_Sure dude."_

* * *

Maybe just maybe…one day they would listen to me. I thought as I walked into my house.

"I'm home." Nothing greeted me back except for my voice. "Heh…I'm always alone." I walked into the black room that is my house. "This is my life I've got to face it." I refused to turn on the light and walked over to the old couch and flung myself on to it. I am Arthur Kirkland and this is my story. I am one of those you call a geek, loser, and all those names. I have messy blond hair that made people call me, a sleepless lion, emerald eyes that made people call me hunted, and huge eyebrows that makes people call me a caterpillar.

After sitting on that couch for an hour and half I stood up and proceeded to go to the restroom but was interrupted by a soft knock on the front door. _Who could it be? _I thought as I walked over and opened the door.

"Hello Arthur." I glanced up and saw that it was my principle, Matthew. He was a Canadian, who is extremely nice to everyone even the jocks, gangsters, etc.

"Hello Matthew." We didn't need formalities. Without a word he handed me a pill. "Take it." He says. I glanced up at my clock and saw that it was six o'clock, time for pills. After mumbling thanks I pop the pill into my mouth and grabbed a cup of water and swallowed that pill.

"How was school today?" I looked over at him; he was still standing at the door.

"Come in." He wouldn't budge, "It was great." _Horrible. Hell. _He knew I was lying but decided not to say anything.

"Arthur, is it _him _again?" The mention of him made me wince although Matthew saw it he was used to it.

"Matthew, I'm tired." With that he nodded and walked away. After he walked away I closed the door and sank down to the ground. _Him. He was a liar._ _All of this happened is because of him…Alfred F. Jones._

"I will _**never**_ forget about what you've done to me Alfred."

I am alone, with no love, no care, nothing. But I've accepted it, because I am the loser. I've accepted it a long time ago. No worries, I'm fine.

"_Hey loser Kirkland!"_

I've accepted it…

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**A/N: Yes, yes three stories waiting for updates, but I can't resist writing this! This was inspired by a dream I had. People today can be cruel. Think I should continue? I got a four day weekend so…yeah. This WILL have a happy ending. BTW, Matthew is not related to Alfred in any way in this story. Flames and torches will be used to roast marshmallows, care for some? **


	2. Chapter 2

**Additional Information!**

**1) Not the typical story.**

**2) Orphan!Arthur...**

**3) Things will be explained later on**

**4) Alfred's not gonna be forgiven anytime soon**

**Why you looking at me like that? Hmmm? I don't own Hetalia! I own own this plot! S-stop it!**

**Edite June 2013 :3**

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_It's sad when someone you know becomes someone you knew. –Henry Rollins_

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When I woke up, I was a bit shocked that I've fallen asleep by the door. "Morning." I said to no one particular. Suddenly I realized that I had school today. I looked up at the clock and saw that I still had time. I quickly brushed my teeth and hair, got a piece of bread and ran out of my house.

As I run to the bus stop I couldn't help but to stare at all those kids who are being showered with kisses, love, and care. I'll always be alone, aren't I? _Quit being so stupid! _One side told me while the other side told me to _face it, Arthur, everyone hates you!_ I can't take it. I felt tears swell up; it was blinding me so I couldn't see clearly. Suddenly, I ran into someone.

"O-ouch…" I murmured. I was too busy trying to rub my elbow, where I had scratched, I didn't notice that tears were falling from my ear or did I notice the person I had ran into.

"Aw, is loser Kirkland crying because he's got a boo-boo? Hahahahahahaha!" I looked up to see _him_.

"Kesesesesese, that is SO unawesome! Oh wait, Kirkland, isn't even COUNTED as awesome." It was one of _his_ best friends, Gilbert.

"S-shut up." I murmured, not intending for them to hear, but somehow _he_ heard it. Of course _he's _always great with hearing things.

"Aw, does loser Kirkland think he's so tough now?" _He _teased.

"Yeah, Alfred, I think Kirkland thinks he's a tough kitty now." The name mentally hunted me also it made me wince. Of course Alfred had to notice that as well but before he could say anything the bus came.

"Dammit. You're lucky this time Kirkland." With that they ran to the bus leaving me sitting there. People walk and ran past me but no one stopped to help me. _No it's fine, no one cares anyways._

When I had gotten up the bus had already left. I slowly dusted myself and started to walk, trying _hard_ to not do anything rash in public. _I wish that there could be one, only one! I'm not asking for too much! I only want one person to care about me._

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Alfred's POV

I was quiet surprised when I ran or he ran into me. You have no idea how badly I wanted to go and help him, but unfortunately Gilbert was there. I mean I had to keep my reputation…right? By helping Arthur, it would totally ruin my reputation, no matter how hard I wanted to help him I couldn't. I know he hates me…but…I really can't…

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Arthur's POV

When I finally got to school everyone was pointing and whispering. I didn't need to ask…I knew they were talking about me. When I got to my locker it didn't shock me to have so many papers taped on it. With words such as, loser, bitch, eyebrows, loner, gay, no one loves you, no one cares about you. I quietly took all of the posters off and got my books and ran into the storage room. But again before I could get there I was stopped.

"What's this? Loser Kirkland is in such a hurry? Why is that? No one's waiting for you." I was stopped by. Yes. Him. Alfred.

"…"

"What's wrong? Aren't ya gonna reply?" I kept my eyes casted on the ground. Suddenly I was slammed into the lockers. "I said aren't ya gonna reply?" He hissed. I averted my eyes from the ground to his cold sky blue eyes that I've fallen for. Yes I am in love with my former best friend and enemy.

"Nothing, I just needed to go talk to the…teacher."

"About?" His voice changed from teasing to ice. Guess he thought I was going to tell on him or something.

"Nothing in particular."

"Kirkland, you better not be lying to me."

"I'm not."

"Kesesese, big boy come 'ere." Gilbert motioned Alfred over.

"Again, interrupted." He lets go of me and walks over. I kept an eye on him from under my bangs, I watched as Gilbert gave him a smack on his butt. As I stood there watching Gilbert introducing some cheerleaders (sluts) to Alfred, I felt my heart clutch up. _Stop it. You're no comparison to them. Alfred is straight unlike you._ I quietly walked away unaware of Alfred's eyes that was burning a hole onto my back.

* * *

When I got to the storage room, I saw two people kissing. That goody-goody Feliciano and that look-at-me-I'm-so-tough Ludwig literally sucking each other's faces off. I mentally gaged and walked over to the bathroom where thankfully was empty. I quickly walked over to the sink, pulled out a knife. I stared at the sharp object as if it was mocking me; suddenly I heard the late bell rang. _Who would care if I'm not in class on time? Right, no one._ I took a deep breath and place the knife on my skin before letting it tear through my skin. As blood start to seep out I felt relief filling my body.

_Why do I still love you after all that you've done to me? Why did you break our promise? Alfred, you don't realize what you've done to me, do you?_

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**A/N: Like it so far? You guys made me soo happy with the reviews, and the follows. So I'm going to be uploading quite alot this weekend, so expect Love At First Sight and this to be updated alot (Well, mostly this since I'm a bit stuck on that one)! :3**

**As for guest reviews:**

**Sophia Griffin: **

**Thanks!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Additional Information!**

**1) Not the typical story.**

**2) Orphan!Arthur...**

**3) Things will be explained later on**

**4) Alfred's not gonna be forgiven anytime soon**

**I only nothing…I promise! I only own this plot**

**A/N: Drinking some hot coco and watching some YouTube videos while writing this. Anyways, I'll let you guys enjoy.**

**Edite June 2013 :3**

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_She can paint a lovely picture, but the story has a twist. Her paintbrush is a razor, her canvas is her wrist. –Unknown_

* * *

After staying there for a few more seconds I quickly cleaned up the mess I've made, threw the paper towel away and walked out. As I proceeded to walk towards my first hour, Chemistry, Matthew appeared out of nowhere. _Just like always appearing in the most unnecessary time._

"Arthur, what are you doing? Aren't you supposed to be in class?" He asks with those annoying concerned look painted on his face.

"I was just going there." I murmured and looked at the ground. He suddenly sighed and took my arm. I winced, he had grabbed the arm that I had just cut. He started to drag me towards his office. Suddenly he stopped and looked down at my arm. I was confused so I also looked down at my arm and gasped. Blood had stained my clothes. I was afraid to look at Matthew, knowing him he'd be giving a lecture later.

"Arthur…" He hissed through gritted teeth. I gulped and looked at him suddenly regretting. His face was red, eyes were wide. "What the hell did you do?" He asked, and when I didn't answer him for a few seconds he rolled up my sleeve revealing the fresh cut along with a few old ones. "Arthur! How many times do I have to tell you not to treat your skin like this?! Your skin is not a piece of paper that you can just draw on!" _Yes it is. _I thought. "Forget it. You'll never understand." He didn't release my arm but instead he used his free hand and got some badge and had already started to badge my arm. As he does that I looked around his office and remembered the first time I had come in here. _It was the first day of school and I was a freshmen. I had somehow decided to start a fight with one of the other freshmen, Ivan, a Russian boy. So after fighting with him and had gotten beaten up I ended up in Matthew's office where he decided to ask a few questions about me._

"There! Done!" He released me and put the badge on his desk before turning towards me once again. "Arthur, please listen to me and stop cutting yourself."

_Never. _"Yeah, I promise." He nods and motions with his hand showing that he's letting me to class now. Without a word I walked out only stopping to close the door.

When I got to my class I sighed and walked in, only to be greeted by a crinkle up paper thrown at me. I looked around to see who had thrown this paper at me but after looking around for a few seconds I decided not to and instead I looked around for the teacher.

"The teacher isn't here yet, aru." I turned to see Yao. I nodded and walked towards my seat. I suddenly remembered the paper and opened it.

* * *

_**Dear Loser Kirkland,**_

_**No cares about you so get lost, k? Kill yourself for all we care. No one would notice if you do.**_

_**Death is yours, **_

_**Alfred Jones, Gilbert Beilschmidt, Francis Bonnefoy, everyone else.**_

* * *

I didn't need to be told twice to know that no one would care if I killed myself. _No one, no one, no one…_ The thought echoed throughout my mind. But a few snickers brought me back to reality. I glanced over at the group that snickered. All of a sudden I was covered with paper. As other's just laughed I just sat there. But thankfully the bell rang. I was the first to be out of the room for I had quickly grabbed my stuff and had ran out of the hellish room. As I ran to my next class, Physical Ed, another class that I hated.

When the day finally ended I decided to not ride the bus but instead take a ride with Matthew. As we sat in silence I couldn't help but to take a quick nap. My last thought before I was taken over by slumber was….

_Maybe I should be better off dead._

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**A/N: OMG! I feel so horrible for doing this to Iggy! By the way, don't hate on Gilbert, Alfred, or anyone they would be so sad if you did D:**


	4. Chapter 4

**Additional Information! (I'll be adding on to this.)**

**1) Not the typical story.**

**2) Orphan!Arthur...**

**3) Things will be explained later on**

**4) Alfred's not gonna be forgiven anytime soon**

**FluffyWhitePandas doesn't own anything except for the story line/plot.**

**A rushed chapter...failed...**

**A/N: About Arthur getting happy anytime soon…the thing is…this is getting sadder and sadder each chapter just as a warning you know O_O. Anyways, later chapter will make some people cry if I can be very descriptive, but anyways all I can promise is that the ending is sweet like…um…cotton candy? Don't like them? How 'bout sweet like chocolate? Everyone's gotta like chocolate! Before I pour myself more into this author's note thing I'm going to stop and let you all enjoy. Btw, thanks for the follows, favorites, and reviews! You have no idea how happy I am when I wake up to this.**

**Edited June 2013 :3**

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_If you judge a book by it's cover, you might miss out on an amazing story. –Unknown_

* * *

_As the ball was passed back and forth the two young blond boys decided this was getting boring. So they climbed into the tree house that they've made when they were maybe like at the age of 6. When they got into it they both fell to the ground laughing._

"_Dude, did ja see that Albino kid did?" The taller of the two asked. The boy is at the age of 14 with golden blond hair with a strange curl on top of him making him look like a butterfly._

"_Yes, I did and that was hilarious!" The shorter boy replied. This boy is also 14 but he has dirty blond messy hair that wouldn't stay straight and huge eyebrows that would make people think that he is the kid of a caterpillar._

"_OMG! So you must've seen him fell in to that tub of water in front of the very girl he wanted to impress!"_

"_Yes." Laughter filled every inch of the tree house. But suddenly it was stopped. _

"_You'll never treat me differently or hurt me or call me a loser or forget about me right? Please promise me you won't. Alfred?" The shorter asked._

_Alfred looked confused for a second. "I promise."_

"_Pinky swears?" Alfred nodded._

"_If you break the promise, I'll turn you into a pig. Now pinky promise is made." Alfred chuckled._

"_I promise, Arthur."_

* * *

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" I screamed as I woke up. As I sat up I realize that this room was not mine but instead it was…

"Oh, goodie, you've woken up." _Matthew's room…why am I in his house?_ "Don't worry, you can go home right now if you want but you have to finish you pills first." He said, and so I obeyed and ate the pill. After putting down the cup of water I turned to him to speak but was silence with a hand.

"You fell asleep so I took you here." He says and got up. "You can leave whenever just drop by the kitchen to tell me, by the way, want some maple pancakes I've made?" _I am hungry but…_

"No thanks. I'll just go home and heat up some ramen noodles." Matthew shook his head at me.

"Arthur…" He began. _No…I don't need anyone's sympathy._ "I know things are hard but…"

"It's fine." _No it's not_. "I promise."

"Okay, fine. Fine." Sighing he walked out of the room and I threw off the covers and walked to down the stairs, towards the front door. "Leaving?" I nodded and walked out.

_No one's waiting for me anyways…it's been like this since…god knows how long, maybe ten years?_ _Maybe I should take a walk through the park? Or maybe_…I looked up at the sky to see a greyish cloud floating and frowned. _I'll just stay home then._ As I walked towards my house I remembered the note from this morning but as I was thinking about the note I accidentally bumped into an old lady. "Oh my god, I am so sorry." I quickly bent down to pick up the grocery the lady had dropped and placed them back into the bags that they were in and handed it over to the lady, who just smiled at me I tried smiling but…my smile was just…too fake…emotionless…

"Thank you young lad, there's not many young men like you these days." She again smiled.

"Thank you but you may want to head home now, since it seems like the weather is not to…happy shall we say." I suggested.

"Yes, thank you again. And young man…"

"Arthur." I told her.

"Arthur work on your smile. A lady needs a gentleman like you that can also make a smile that can bright up her world." I felt myself crumble up a little inside.

"Yes I will, thank you and have a good day." She smiled.

"One day you'll meet someone who will make you smile." She says as she disappeared into the mist of the fog that had suddenly shown up.

I heard myself snicker as I thought about what the old lady said. _He was the only one who can bright up my world and also crumple it up and throw it away._ With that I walked away with only one thing still on my mind, that dream I had…

"Heh, even though we made that pinky promise Alfred, why? Why?"

_In the end he crumpled it up and threw it away._

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**A/N: Oh….Okay for all of you who are like what do you mean we'll be depressed and all that I'll tell ya'll right now. One, Suicide video. And two, the truth. All of these will happen later on. I DO have a request, can I get at least 15 reviews? Pwease? *Puppy dog eyes***


	5. Chapter 5

**Who said I owned Hetalia? No one! Why?! Oh well, it's only TRUE, I don't own Hetalia.**

**A/N: The "I'm tired" quote like thingy does NOT belong to me…I found it on a picture. More quotes to come!**

**Character:**

**Scottland: Allistor**

**Wales: Dylan**

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_I'm tired of crying._

_I'm tired of yelling._

_I'm tired of being sad._

_I'm tired of pretending._

_I'm tired of being alone._

_I'm tired of being angry._

_I'm tired of feeling crazy._

_I'm tired of feeling stuck._

_I'm tired of needing help._

_I'm tired of remembering._

_I'm tired of missing thing._

_I'm tired of being different._

_I'm tired of missing people._

_I'm tired of feeling worthless._

_I'm tired of feeling empty inside._

_I'm tired of not being able to just let go._

_I'm tired of wishing I could start all over._

_I'm tired of dreaming of a life I will never have._

_But most of all, I'm just tired of being tired._

* * *

"_Alfred let's go make fun of that kid over there with those hideous eyebrows."_

"_Sure dude."_

_It was a normal Tuesday for Arthur that is. He was just about to go find a table at lunch or to be more informational he was just about to go to his own table when he was stopped by a very annoying voice that hunted his dreams._

"_Oi, eyebrows," Arthur turned around not expecting Alfred of all people, to call him that. "Is that a burger I see?" He didn't wait for an answer instead he just took the burger and stuffed it into his mouth. It was only their third year in middle school, 8__th__ grade. And Alfred is already like this! Arthur couldn't believe it but yet he believes it. He knew he just __**kne**_**w **_this day would eventually come, the day where Alfred turns on him._

"_Kesesesesese, Alfred come on there's a hot mama waiting for us." Gilbert said as he wiggled his eyebrows._

"_Oh la la," With that Alfred was gone, leaving a still shell-shocked Arthur still standing there, surrounded by a few boys and girls who was laughing and pointing at him._

"_That…that…Jones…I'll kill 'hem." That day was the last day Arthur was happy. Just a word can make a huge difference in someone's day either good or bad._

* * *

When I had finally gotten home it had started to rain. _It seems like the weather decided to join me, hm?_ Ignoring the cold and loneness in my living room I walked straight to my bedroom and plopped myself on to my bed, before pulling out a yearbook. _Boring-flip- Stupid- flip- doesn't know him- flip. _As I flipped through my 4th grade yearbook, I remembered many of the kids, who are most likely in with Alfred to bully me._ I'm tired._ I sighed before deciding the yearbook was nothing but a piece of crap, so I throw it somewhere in my room.

As the rain tapped on my window, I closed my eyes and listened to the slow, peaceful rhythm of the rain.

* * *

"_You're nothing but trash, Arthur." A boy no older than 7 hissed at the 4 year old Arthur._

"_Allistor, you should probably stop bullying him, without me." Allistor laughed at his 5 year old brother, Dylan._

"_Why you gwys mwst be so mean to me?" Arthur asked making the two brothers to laugh in unison._

"_You're right. Why do we bullying 'im so much?" Dylan asked._

"_Because he's nothing but a piece of trash." Again the room was filled with the laughter of the two. Arthur looked at them with wide eyes as the word entered his mind._

_Trash. Trash. Trash. Trash. Nothing but trash._

* * *

"Dammit, I just had to remember _them._" _But it's only true! You're nothing but a piece of trash!_ "SHUT UP, SHUT UP!"

"WHY CAN'T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE?!" _Alone? You've always been alone, face it Arthur. Even your brothers abandoned you._

"…" Suddenly my vision turned blurry. _Don't cry, don't cry! _I quickly wiped the tears away before running into the bathroom to freshen up.

When I finally came back into my room I clasped on my bed. Before drifting off to sleep I quickly checked the time. _8:30 p.m._

"Oops, missed dinner. Oh well…"

_Can I just die? I'm just tired of this life…_

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**A/N: WHY?! Must Panda be so mean to Arthur?! I'm sorry! OH MY PANDAS! I GOT 16 REIEWS! THANKS MIN'NA! PANDA LOVES YOU ALL! This chapter is again a bit rushed (you can probably tell ;3)**


	6. Chapter 6

**FluffyWhitePandas is currently silently crying in the corner, because she does not own Hetalia.**

**A/N: Okay, so I have made a Tumblr for my stories just in case something happens to me...so follow me on there?**

**Poll: Vote in it!**

**I love you guys! Thank you all for the favorites, follows, and reviews!**

**I actually have a document with all the quotes I have found. XD Keep in mind that some of these quotes will not be related to the chapter of the story, but it will be related to the story :3**

**It's my birthday April 19th! Whoopie! XD new chapter and a new story! Proud of myself!**

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Everyone has a story. Be willing to hear it before you judge. –Unknown

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When I woke up again it was not because of the stupid alarm clock, it was my stomach. _Right, I forgot to eat dinner last night. _I slowly slid out of my Union Jack blanket. I slowly walked into the bathroom where I quickly brushed my teeth and took a shower. After getting dress in the bathroom and before getting something to eat I looked at myself in the mirror. I slowly took in my appearance. My messy blond hair that always sticks out of place, my emerald eyes was the only thing I liked about myself, my pale skin was really pale _who would want someone with that of a pale skin? _And then I lean towards the mirror and touched my almost-invisible freckles that decorated my nose. _I am so ugly…no one would want me. I'll be living alone in a big house with twelve cats._ After sighing, I walked out of the bathroom and walked over to the kitchen where I proceeded to get a piece of toast. Well, at least that's what I wanted to do, but sadly, no, that wasn't it.

"Arthur." Matthew greeted, setting down a plate of pancakes before gesturing that the plate of pancakes was mine. I sighed and sat down.

"Morning Matthew." As I was about to grab the plate, Matthew grabbed it and span it around while pouring a bottle of Maple Syrup on to it before handing it back to me. "Thanks" I mumbled and took a bite out of the delicious pancake. I gotta say Matthew should've become a patisserie; every time he comes over he would make these very talented drawings on them. Even if he was just making swirls on them, you can practically see the whole galaxy in it.

"No problem…So how was your day?" I looked up from the pancakes and gave him a weird look before putting down the fork and wiping my face.

"Matthew, its only 6'oclock how am I supposed to tell you how was my day?" Matthew's eyes widened before chuckling.

"Haha, you're right."

It usually went this way; he always tried to make easy conversations with me before washing the plates and taking me to school. It's always been like this, it's like a daily routine. After all, nothing is new in my life.

"Alright! We better be going!" Matthew said in a voice higher than usual, breaking me away from my train of thoughts. I suddenly realized that I was so into my thoughts I didn't even notice that Matthew was already finished with the dishes and now was getting his coat on and ready to go.

"Yeah." _Another day in hell._

When we finally got to school I said see you later to Matthew and walked away towards my first class. As I walked through the halls, I barely noticed someone was speaking to me until a fist met my jaw.

"That's for not listening to me, loser Kirkland." I quietly brought my hands up to touch the injury. "Oi, are you listening? Do I need to punch you again? Geeez, people don't seem to learn these days!" _Just shut up! _

"I'm sorry." I murmured, not really meaning it.

"Alfred!" Suddenly a high pitch voice popped up. We both turned towards the person who was running towards us, correction _Alfred._ "Guess what?" A cheerleader, I think her name was something like Sophie, leaned forward to show her breasts. _That…attention seeker, but thanks to her Alfred's attention is all on her instead of me._ I quietly walked away, towards the bathroom, where relief can be found.

When I reached the bathroom I quickly closed the door unaware that someone was in there. So when I was about to took out my razor someone's hand was on my arm. I slowly turned around.

"You're Arthur-san right?" With that greeting I knew who it was. Kiku Honda, Japanese transfer student.

"Hello." I said harshly. Kiku shrank back at the harshness in my tone.

"S-sorry, but I really think that you shouldn't be doing this."

"What the hell do you know about me?" I snapped, instantly regretting it. I looked away, "I'm sorry."

"It's f-fine. I'll be going now, but Arthur-san?" He stopped, "I really want to be friends with you." With that he left and the late bell rang.

"Friends?" I said bitterly. "Lies." Then again I proceed to "draw" on my skin when again someone interrupted me.

"Loser Kirkland?"

* * *

**This story is actually going towards where I want. So Arthur and Kiku and will become friends and that's all I can tell you for now.**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thank you all for the reviews! It was like a present to me! So in order words I want to give a special thanks to all that followed, favorite, and reviewed, so thanks! You all deserve some tissues.**

**Follow Respect the Fluff or fluffy()white()pandas().tumblr().com on Tumblr :D (I still need to figure out how to post stories. I'm probably gonna start with the one-shots first) (Remove the spaces) **

**Panda is munching on chips because she can't stand the fact that she doesn't own Hetalia.**

**I might have over done this chapter. **

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_A shot to kill the pain. A pill to drain the shame. A purge to end the gain. A cut to break the vein. A smoke to ease the crave. A drink to win the game. An addiction is an addiction because it all hurts the same. –Unknown_

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From last time…

"_Loser Kirkland?"_

I immediately turned around. Only one person ever calls me that and that person is Alfred F. Jones. _Crap!_ I quickly hid the razor behind my back, hope, no _praying _that he won't notice. I didn't need another person who figures this out. I didn't need him to make fun of me more.

"Dude?" He took a step forward, his eyes as wide as a scared puppy. You have no idea how stupid and scared he looked. He steps forward again. He was getting closer. I had to get away. I _need _to.

"What." I hissed, razor still behind my back.

"Is…is that a razor I see?" he lift up an arm and reaches for it. I moved back.

"S-stay back!" Curse my voice for cracking at this moment. "O-or else!"

He didn't look one bit frightened. So, I took the razor from behind my back and showed it to him. Almost like a frightened tiger he is, he jumped back. But he soon realized what he's done and quickly tried to ease himself.

"Give me that Loser Kirkland."

"Eh? Why?" I gave a devilish smirk. I placed the razor on my skin and watched his eyes go wide and his lips form a straight line.

"_Arthur_. Give. Me. The. Freaking. Razor." I winced at the tone of his voice and as well as the fact he used my name.

"No." I fought back. I pushed the razor with a bit more force. The razor was cutting my skin, slowly.

"Arthur! Dammit! LISTEN TO ME!" He reaches forward but I quickly dodged him.  
"No." Blood was seeping out now. It was a dark and red. I was used to seeing this but Alfred apparently wasn't. The razor was going deeper now. It might as well just cut through my veins and let me die. I slowly closed my eyes. I, however, did not expect Alfred to snatch the weapon away from me. But let him this time. The pleasure was filling my body up. It felt…nice…almost as if I was in heaven. But then all of a sudden, the room started to darken. My eyes felt…heavy. I could barely feel my arms and legs. Is this the end?

POV Change…(I think)

Alfred quickly notices that Arthur was fainting; he quickly grabbed him, trying his best not to touch the wound, and ran for the nurse. As he ran he did not notice the principle. However, Matthew noticed Alfred running…with Arthur in his arms. He knew they both didn't get along, so what happened? He rushed to Alfred and asked, "What happened?" He placed a hand on Arthur's cheeks and it felt as cold as a dead body.

"I-I, He- we- he cut too deep!" Matthew's eyes shot open as he heard the words leave the American.

"Dammit. You take him to the nurse, quickly. And I will call the ambulance." With that Matthew ran for his office to call 911, while Alfred ran as fast as he could towards the nurse's office.

"Dammit! Arthur! Damn you! WHY?!" Alfred kept hissing out as he ran. He didn't care what others might think of him at that moment. It seemed like it was back to when they were best friends and they would help each other.

When Alfred finally got to the nurse's Alfred ran straight in. "Please! Someone please help me!" Alfred shouted at the two nurses sitting by their computers. When they saw the green-eyed boy they quickly got up and took him away from Alfred. One of the nurses helped get Arthur's temperature and get some badge, while the other turned to Alfred, "His name."

"Arthur Kirkland."

"Thank you." After a while Matthew bursts through the door, panting, with two men with stretchers behind him. They immediately went forward and grabbed the boy laying on the bed. "Hurry get him to the ambulance." One screamed to the other.

As they left Matthew and Alfred chased after them. "Can we please come with?" The two men looked at each other and quickly nodded, for they did not have enough time. They had to get Arthur to the hospital. On the way to the hospital, Alfred felt his eyes burn. Matthew saw this and placed a hand on his shoulder, calming the boy down.

"It's my entire fault." Alfred chanted. Matthew didn't say anything he just traced circles with his finger on Alfred's back.

When they got there they quickly got someone to check up on him. Alfred and Matthew had to wait outside. Suddenly, the doctor came out. "Who are the patient's parents?" Matthew looked horrified.

"Um…you see…" He took the doctors hands and fast walked away from where Alfred was sitting.

"About that, Arthur doesn't have a parent…"

While Matthew was explaining the problem to the doctor, Alfred sat there thinking about all the things he had done to the innocent boy that once was his best friend.

Then finally after a few minutes the doctor hurried back. Alfred looked up at his principle, hoping for an explanation. "Sorry can't tell you." Alfred looked back down at his hands.

Alfred never knew why he had turned on Arthur, maybe it was the tiny tingling feeling he felt whenever he's around him or the fact that he just got tired of him. He knew how much it hurt Arthur. But there was something he always didn't understand. When they were friends Arthur never did let him meet his parents, it was like he was hiding something from him.

After a few hours, the doctor came out and said he was okay now, but he has to stay at the hospital for more checkups before he could leave. "Thank you so much." Matthew said shaking the doctor's hand.

When they went in the room they saw Arthur was tucked in under the blankets with a heart monitor by his side.

After a few more hours, it was midnight. Arthur finally woke up.

"Ngh,"

"Arthur?" Matthew and Alfred both said together.

"W-what happened?" Arthur opened his eyes and looked around, he noticed that he was in the hospital. _Oh no I can't pay for this._ Then he noticed Alfred sitting by the corner. He didn't feel like arguing, his throat burns, his head was spinning and his arms were burning as well.

"Hello, I'm the helper." A man that looked similar to Arthur came in. As soon as his green eyes and Arthur's green eyes met. The air grew thick making both Matthew and Alfred look at one another.

"Alistair?" Arthur gulped, hoping that this man was him.

The taller man looked shocked, and then he responded. "Arthur?"

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**Thanks for reading. I'm going to inform you all I'm not going to be uploading for the next few weeks because of tests and all that crap. So that is why this chapter is the longest out of all other chapters! :D**


	8. Notice

Sorry I will update my stories in a few days or so...I am currently in China. YAY! Saw many anime things! I wanted to buy them but my mom had to get something done so I didn't have time to buy some. Anyways! I'm just here to inform that I am not dead!

Soo sorry if you thought this was a update :)


	9. Chapter 8

**Hey…so…yea…I GOT THIS! I hope this chapter is okay 'cause I only had three days to write this T_T anyways! Here it is! Oh and dear guest, thanks for the review :D yes I know I might have gotten some people's hope up but you know D: I didn't mean too DX anyways! Thanks for the review though **

**FluffyWhitePandas continues to sob 'cause she doesn't own Hetalia.**

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_You can't judge my choices without knowing my reasons. –Unknown_

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_Alright from last time…_

"_Alistair?" Arthur gulped, hoping that this man was him._

_The taller man looked shocked, and then he responded. "Arthur?"_

* * *

I really didn't want to believe that it was Alistair, the man who left me when I was eight to survive by myself. But yet…the man in front of me now…is more…mature? No, this is just a façade.

Alistair cleared his throat. "I'm just here to check on you and give you food and medicine and all that crap." He looked back at the door. "I'll just leave you three alone. I'll come back later to give you food."

I nodded and he walked out and shut the door behind him. It felt like that day when he had slammed the door shut, leaving a eight year old with a few thousand dollars to spend on food and heat and water and all that crap. It felt just like that day.

* * *

"_Brother? Where are you all going?" A young Arthur asked the three grown man. The three grown men all looked at each other and then one of them spoke up. "Leaving."_

"_Where to?" The young Arthur looked excited, he loved to explore._

"_Oh no, you're not coming with us." All three smirked at the young Arthur._

"_I'm not?" They did not reply they continued to smirk. _

_They started to back up towards the door. The one who spoke up, Alistair, opened the door for all three of them. When two of them all walked out and he was the only one left, he grinned at Arthur and threw a bag of thousand dollars onto the floor. "Bye bye." With that Alistair walked out the door._

"_W-wait!" As Arthur ran to the door, the door slammed closed. "Brother?" With that Arthur collapsed onto the floor, crying._

* * *

Shaking my head I looked back at Matthew and Alfred, they both were looking at me, waiting for me to explain the whole thing. I just shook my head. _No I will not trust anyone I can't…not again._ I sighed and laid back down once again, rolling to face the window. As I listened to the calm breathing behind me I closed my eyes and planned my escape. To the next world, that is. In this world…I don't belong here.

**A few days later**

"Alright! Arthur you may be released." The doctor had just finished the final checkup on me. Thank god he didn't see those scars on my wrist and my body.

As the doctor left, Alfred came in. I looked at him bitterly. He saw that look and shifted, uncomfortably.

"Um…sup?" He said.

I averted my eyes to look outside. I was still sitting in the bed. "The doctor said I could go home." I said adding some sour hints in there. Hoping he could get the hint, but of course he didn't. _Stupid American. _

"Of course! Um…Matthew is at the front desk paying and all that crap." I nodded.

A moment of silence followed. I was about to speak when he spoke. "Remember when we were younger?" I whipped my head to look at him. When I turned I was not faced with the handsome boy, I was facing a tired looking boy. He had bags under his eyes, his eyes were blood shot, his hair was no longer the beautiful smooth looking hair, instead it was messy and his stubborn piece of hair that never go down seemed to be limping, like a injured human.

Instead of answering him I just stared at him, waiting for him to continue.

"I-" The door slammed open. _Yeah, Matthew always the right time. _I rolled my eyes.

"Okay, buddy. Everything is okay, so come on, pack up and let's leave this hell hole." I chuckled on this. Matthew really can cheer me up…only sometimes though. I looked over at Alfred. He was blushing.

"Hey, Alfred…" Alfred looked over to Arthur, hope in his eyes. "Want to go get me a couple of burgers?" Matthew looks between us.

"Arthur I don't think that's a good idea." I turned to look at Matthew and said, "Don't worry; I just want to try some of those American burgers. I paused, "And who can know a better place to get a couple of burgers is Alfred Jones." Matthew nodded in agreement. I smiled, "So, Alfred do you know any good place to get a couple of burgers?" I asked. Alfred's eyes brightened as he nodded vigorously. "McDonald's has the best burgers you'll ever taste!" I looked over at Matthew, who still has a worried looked on his face. I smiled and nodded at him to confirm that everything is okay, and if there's a problem I'll call him.

Matthew sighed and smiled.

As we walked out, Alfred was speaking passionately about hamburgers. Since I really didn't like burgers and all those fast foods I looked around the hospital and that's when my eyes met Alistair's eyes. He is someone…that …took care of me. But that part of the story is not really important. Not yet, at least.

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**I have this note on my phone that has this story's story line planned out XD I wrote it on the plane it was a tiring thirteen hour trip!**

**By the way, who knows the show Kuroshitsuji? Wait, who doesn't? Anyways! I brought three little "toys" that had Ciel and Sebastian on it! I just can't find a store that has Hetalia characters DX. The next chapter would probably be up in a few weeks or so :D**


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